Anxiety? Me?

I sit here having proudly gotten through 3 days of my sons induction into nursery.  It’s that time already! I mean he was only in 1 hour the first day, 2 hours the second and 3 hours the third day.  But oh boy it felt like an eternity each day! I feel I have major separation anxiety when it comes to my son.

We know children face it, but I didn’t realise that we as parents and mums face it too.  Not until I heard and read about other mums going through this.  I love my son to bits, I know how important nursery can be for his development and independence and all that fun stuff, but no one tells you that you are going to be the biggest basket case the day you have to start dropping them off! WHAT!?! My stomach would be in knots after dropping him and walking away, I would feel sick, constantly wondering if he was ok, was he eating? Did he have a nap? Is he crying or scared? What if he doesn’t go to anyone?!? SO MANY QUESTIONS! It literally took every ounce of energy I had to not keep ringing them every 20 minutes.  NO NO NO! I won’t be that person.  Trust they are professionals and they will look after my son.

Now this anxiety can stem from many different places depending on you as a person and your circumstances and experiences in your life.  Mine, I think, comes from the fact that my parents divorced when I was very young.  And as much as it has never bothered me till this day, I suddenly realised that my parental anxiety comes from the fact that I only saw my mother during holidays and whenever she had holidays from work to fly to me.  So the thought of my mum having to go back, or me having to go back, scared me to tears.  I hated it when after a holiday mum would have to leave to go back to her job.  So for me now I never want my son to have to face that.  And the answer obviously is to strap him to me till he’s 30! ummm….ya I know I can’t, it’s silly.  But that’s where my anxiety comes from anyway.

So how do I address this?  I need to do some major soul searching and deal with my inner demons.  The last thing I want is for my son to pick up on this energy and not want to leave my side.  To miss out on fun adventures because mummy doesn’t like being away from him.  No no, absolutely not.  This matter has to be dealt with.  They are my demons not his.

So if any of you lovely mums and dads have any tips to help with this, or experiences to share on how you dealt with this, I would love to hear it!

Until next time xoxo

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