5 things no one tell you about childbirth and having a baby

1: Epidural failure and the pain that comes with it!

My delivery story, if you’ve read it, was a little complicated and crazy towards the end. But what no one prepared me for was my epidural failing and having to go through it a second time and be topped off with a spinal block! That pain that shoots through your body when your epidural fails is like no other pain I have ever experienced. The shooting pain down my back, the extreme sciatic like pain through my hips and then feeling delirious and completely not in control. I couldn’t communicate with anyone around me, or understand what anyone was saying to me. And having to sit up and go through that process again! I’m just glad it all happened towards the end of my labour!

2: The wonder of Entonox (Gas and Air)

Laughing gas, sounds wonderful right? The light headedness, the feeling of drifting, the pain slowly being dissipated….then the nausea and vomiting! Yup! That too. I wanted to be on it for as long as I could, and have my birth as natural as possible (we know how that turned out), but I just couldn’t do it. The gas just made me feel so light headed and nauseous to my core. I lasted all of half an hour on it! Wow. It was like my first trimester nausea all over again, just amplified. In the end, I was glad to be wheeled up to the ward.

3: The twisted cervix!

You learn about a lot of complications during labour and delivery, but what I wasn’t expecting was to be told I had a twisted cervix which was up and to the left – not straight down for my babys head to engage fully. Also, how painful the examination would be to try to pull my cervix to straighten it. It felt as horrifying as it sounds while your reading this. I wont lie, it hurt, a lot. It felt as though the midwife was reaching up into my rib cage to pull my guts out. That pain, that discomfort, that space which leaves you at your most vulnerable, nothing prepared me for it. It was the only time though my entire labour process I broke down and cried. This is the point you realise, no matter how hard you try to control the situation at some point you have to just let go and submit and go with the flow.

4: On/Off emotions

We all know that this is the most emotional time as a parent, seeing your baby for the first time. But I don’t think you, or your partner, are prepared for how quickly you go from immense pain to uncontrollable tears of joy in a split second! I went from not being able to talk, vomiting between contractions, to just utter tears of joy in a second. I feel this is more for partners, because my husband, bless him, couldn’t handle and understand this sudden emotional change in me. After seeing me at my lowest in so much pain, to then seeing me at my highest with such joy and happiness… he had to step outside for a minute to take a breather. It’s not something you’ll ever understand until you’re in that room experiencing it.

5: Your night in hospital

if you’ve had any kind of procedure, and a spinal block, the chances are you’re spending a night in hospital. Here’s the thing, for me it was amazing! And no one quite tell you that. My experience was very positive. The nursery nurses were fabulous throughout the night when I was having trouble breastfeeding. They were so supportive and gave me great tricks and tips to feed my baby that first night and next day. I was helped to the toiled and back because my legs were still weak from the spinal block. The food was ok, it’s a hospital not a 5 star restaurant ok, and I truly wish I had stayed another night.

The bottom line is, it’s bloody hard work having a baby! But just go with the flow, listen to the experts, and go in with little or no expectations so you don’t feel let down if things change. And most of all enjoy the entire experience because once it’s over then its over.

All for now!

 

Just like that…he’s tuned 1!

I feel like its time I introduced you to my family, and I feel like I’m ready to now. It is my pleasure to introduce to you the love of my life, my husband, Gaurav, and the centre of our universe, our baby boy, Neel.

 

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Gaurav, Aradhana and baby Neel

I cannot believe we have just celebrated Neels first birthday. It’s so strange to think that I have been a mother for an entire 365 days! It feels like I’ve been doing this forever though, both my husband and myself talk about how it’s hard to imagine what we used to do before Neel came along. All those sleepless nights, the endless nappies, the sleep training, the weaning, nursery, going back to work, 2 holidays in the middle… all this in 1 short year. Neel, this blog is for you.

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Daddy and Neel just a few weeks old
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Can’t believe he is 1!

You came into our lives and instantly filled a gap that didn’t seem to exist in our lives. Our home and family suddenly felt a bit more solidified, and our purpose changed. We were now parents first, putting you first, placing you above all else. And rightly so! The hours Gaurav and me would just sit looking at you sleep, watching you blow bubbles, giggle and laugh and try to communicate with us were the best hours of our life! How you just drew us in and kept us mesmerised with your big (at the time blue!) eyes, which then turned to dark deep brown. Watching you grow and learning to do new things everyday has been so magical. Of course its been tough too, I wont lie, there were days Gaurav and me felt like we couldn’t do this, that we were failing or not doing things right. There were days I felt lonely and wrecked and beyond exhausted. But I always remember what our antenatal class teacher, Linzy, would keep reminding us… “always remember that its just a phase. Today may be hard, but get through this phase and conquer it, then get ready for the next phase”. It’s just a phase. And babies go through a gazillion phases! But that’s the only thing that’s kept Gaurav and me going to be honest, remembering how helpless Neel is as a baby, and that it is just a phase as he learns this new skill or that new skill.

 

 

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Proud parents

Our first year has been incredible. We have been through two holidays, adjusting to life together, starting nursery, going back to work and just like that you turned 1. You’ve been on 9 flights, visited Germany and India, spent time with grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles and great aunts and uncles and made new friends. You’ve learnt to walk, learnt to eat on your own, learnt to play on your own. You’ve gone through baby massage, baby yoga and love swimming. Your first word was “Uh oh”, you try your best to say Daddy… we’ll keep working on mummy…you say hi and bye and wave to everyone. You want to put on your own socks and hat, and love story time. You even finallyyou’re your first haircut!

Neel, you are just a happy baby who loves to smile and laugh and keep everyone around you entertained. Your spirit is so positive, your demeanour calm and collected, your walk confident and filled with a purpose. Your journey this year has filled us with memories we will cherish when you hit those teenage years of not wanting anything to do with us! And yes, they will all be revealed on your wedding day for that all important embarrassing moments by mum and dad. So Neel, thank you for coming into our lives. We hope we do you proud as you grow up, we hope we give you the best we possibly can, and do the most we can for you. I couldn’t be happier that your little soul chose me as your mummy, and you chose us as your parents. We love you more than you’ll ever know, and will always stand by you.

Xxx mummy and daddy.

 

Taking the plunge

Hello and welcome!  My name is Aradhana, nice to meet you all! A little frightening if I’m honest, I’m new to blogging, and there seemed no better time than now to take the plunge.   Forgive me if this space at this time is not perfect, I shall learn as I go and improve on it day by day.

A little about me then to begin with!  I am a 29 soon to be 30 year old woman. I am a wife to the love of my life who is a sound engineer and mother to an 11 month old baby boy. I am a quarter Irish and three quarters Indian…a mix which gives me just the right amount of weird, attitude, Indian charm and Irish nuttiness to keep everyone intrigued.   I was born and raised in India by my father and lived with him till I was 16. I then moved to live with my mother in England…. and now I’m married with a baby boy and happily settled enjoying every minute.
The reason I’ve been wanting to blog is this: I have experienced so much in my life, been through my fair share of ups and downs and enough excitement that I’m bursting to share it with someone…the world even. My hope? That this helps, inspires, provides some answers to some of you who are maybe struggling with what I did through my journey. Hopefully my story will help you cope and manage situations which are tricky similar to what I have been through.  I would love this space to be a place of open conversation, for mums and dads to stay strong together, and a space to just be you.

 

And so my blogging journey begins. I am by no means trying to lay down a book of answers and give anyone the best advice on earth. I am simply sharing my story and I hope you will accept me for me. I would love your feedback, suggestions and comments. If its positive great! If negative that’s ok too, we can’t all agree on everything.
I hope you visit again and I look forward to seeing where this journey takes me.

All for now xoxo